Divorce is painful for everyone involved. When marriage fails, we hope divorce will rescue us from constant pain and turmoil. However, often the process of divorce brings new and just as painful and challenging problems.

There is a way to divorce well, though it is difficult. Marriages end when at least one partner does not feel cared for. Either through neglect, conflict, or betrayal, partners decide there is not a path towards reconciliation and repair. The relational injuries that lead to the ending of the marriage are not resolved by the dissolving of the marriage. Attempting to navigate the complexities of divorce requires communication and coordination, whether directly or through attorneys. The underlying injuries that lead to the end of the marriage drive the lack of trust, hurt, anger, and frustration that can turn divorce into an ugly battle where the only good outcome is the relief it is over.

If children are involved, divorce does not end this relationship as the needs and issues of co-parenting, child and possibly spousal support, coordinating holidays, agreeing on schedules, rules, and discipline continue. Hurt and anger towards an ex-spouse can spill over into interactions with children. Parents can sometimes want their child to view their ex the same way they do, which is damaging for a child who needs to be loved by both parents.

While a marriage may end, the issues and injuries that occurred as a part of the marriage do not end when the marriage does. These issues and injuries will follow us into our subsequent relationships and a next marriage. Divorce recovery is an important part of the healing process that is as much to do with how to have a healthy future relationship as it is about processing the pain of the ending of a prior one.

Yes, there is a way to divorce well to minimize the fallout and establish a path to moving forward. Yes, you can recover from divorce, learn from it, and be better prepared for your next relationship. We can help you at whatever stage of divorce you are in.