Few things in life are better than finding the one person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Marriage is what happens when the one you chose equally chooses you to love and care. The commitment of marriage is a covenant that goes beyond feelings of affection and attraction. Marriage was designed to create relational security by anchoring feelings of love in commitment and discipline to overcome the challenges of life and love together as a team.

Few things, then, feel worse than when we feel hurt and uncared for by our spouse. It feels like a deeper betrayal than any other relationship. You don’t get to pick your family, but your spouse chose you. So when it feels like they do not choose you and even seem against you, the pain we experience is great.

The good news is that most marriage issues are completely repairable. Healthy marriages take work and very specific skills. If our families of origins lacked those skills or the pressures of life lead us to abandon those skills, our relationship with our spouse can be greatly impacted. Learning how to understand your spouse, how to champion your needs and desires while also discovering your spouse’s needs and desires, and then learning how to coordinate those when they are in conflict is where we excel.

Pathways is known for our marriage work. We do not see “bad guys” in marriage therapy. We see two people who loved and chose one another in great distress when they do not feel safe and intimately connected with one another. Our work focuses on what drives disconnection and teaches couples the skills to reclaim their love and intimacy and maintain it for the long haul. Restoring intimacy, connection, and developing strategies to resolve conflict where both partners feel cared for is our core focus.